In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Sext me about skeletons
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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