You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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