Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
