Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
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