so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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