Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
