I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
meet me or not, i'm out of control
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
