mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
