Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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