69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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