I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
