i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
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