he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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