somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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