What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Just invented taco cereal.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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