this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
