I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
