My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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