How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Sext me about skeletons
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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