I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
