Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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