Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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