why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
