No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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