end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
