So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
