idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
