they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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