my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
My life is pants optional.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
