What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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