FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
