dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
