we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
