yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Alive.
So much puke
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Randomize
