Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
