Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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