On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
