I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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