Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
