im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
