Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Randomize
