I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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