And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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