How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
