Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
