I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Randomize
