you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
