I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
