im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Sext me about skeletons
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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