I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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