Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
