Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
its not stalking. its research.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
