My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
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