I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
