Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
