I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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