Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
