If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
