don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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