Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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