Where are you?
In a non slutty way
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
