Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize