my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
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