wake up i wanna do it froggy style
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
