I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
