Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Someone came in the potted fern
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Randomize
