i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
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