so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
